narcissist: wet blanket soceity [rules on white after labor day]

{contents clockwise: free people + forever21 + max azria + vs pink + united colors of beneton + forever 21}

There are two types of people in this world: Those who are wet blankets & those who are not (water resistant, camping blankets if you will.) And through my interactions with a bulk of this universe, I've had the pleasure of initiating many-a-folk into the WBS (Wet Blanket Society) despite their lack of consent. 

"No Lauren, I can't get frozen yogurt for the third time today with you." WBS! "No Lauren, I can't go out tonight, I have a final tomorrow morning at 8am." WBS! "Lauren, I can't take your shift at work after all, my great-great-aunt just died." Wet. Blanket. Society.

But, the other day I was forced into a game of "two truths and lie" in which I had nothing to match the extraordinaries of Jack's "I was arrested on the campus' football field" or Jenna's  "I have a tattoo of a skull & crossbones on my left ass cheek." My turn led to a embarrassing "Pass..." 

Enter, panic mode: "Am I, Lauren Jerdonek, a wet blanket?!" Here I've been casting Nancys & Neils into the WBS like it's my 9-5 when I myself haven't done anything remotely endangered since I ate dessert before dinner last month. But then, almost as if Coco herself (*moment of silence*) caught wind of my state, the infamous "you can't white after Labor Day" conversation emerged. 

Cue redemption.

Here's my logic on the rule: break it - duh. The banishment myth started over a hundred years ago when day-to-day dressing was much more formal. Whites & lighter hues were worn to make the sun's wrath less harsh. The rule was adapted & eventually turned into a moratorium & unnecessary fashion guideline.

 In my opinion, not only does abandoning whites for autumn & winter slash my wardrobe in half, I can't think of anything sexier than white on white. Matching lace ivories with more masculine knits & jackets makes for an unbeatable combination. Adding a loose combat boot or cinched military jacket celebrates your womanly figure.

So, the lesson I'm giving today is don't be a FWB - Fashion Wet Blanket. Rebel against the norm & wear those whites.

lauren jerdonek.

narcissist: a dainty oxymoron

I've never been a guy's girl. 

In the fourth grade, I had this short sprint of mentality, thanks to Mary-Kate Olsen's character in the 1999 blockbuster hit "Switching Goals," that if I were to play soccer during recess with the boys (& sweat a lot), I would become a lot cooler & desirable than the girls who were making up dance routines to Destiny's Child's "Jumpin' Jumpin'" & practicing their high jumps & toe touches on the playground.

That theory was put to rest when pretty quickly when I was called out for picking up the ball with my hands, crying over a broken nail & someone commenting on how red my face was, all within twenty minutes.

Still, at 20, the only sport I seem to excel in is pinning a dozen swoon-worthy guys to my "gentlemen con swag" Pinterest board in less than a minute. (I'm trying out for the USA Olympic team next week, keep your fingers crossed!) However, even though every pore on my body exudes excess amounts of girl, I'm finding ways to include some masculinity into my wardrobe. Enter, the military jacket.

The military jacket has saved my outfits countless times since its purchase. Although I have worn it with pretty much every piece in my closet, today I played one of my favorite games called "Fashion Oxymoron," in which I pick the two most opposite items in my sight & wear them together. The outcome is always successfully repelling.

I'm all about tease mid-photo shoot.

Every photo set needs a "she looks like an asshole" pic.

Oh, stoooooop it!

This is a military-inspired look...

{contents} Forever 21 military jacket + Forever 21 lace dress + Urban Outfitters belt + 

Vince Camuto heels + Vintage Gucci}

lauren jerdonek.

narcissist: hibiscus this

As I sit under my sun-shielding umbrella, sipping a pina colada listening to the Hawaiian waves crash against the beach, I can't help but soak in a little tropical inspiration for today's look. Okay, you caught me: I'm not sipping a pina colada. Or in Hawaii.

Can't a girl dream? 

Although I'm not reaping the benefits of Honolulu's finest UV rays, or any rays for that matter, this past weekend I fully committed myself to a summer of island-inspired prints that even the biggest Kahuna would be envious of. 

Bright, bold, tropical flowers are a divine & fun way to channel your inner-islander without feeling obligated to wear a coconut bra, grass skirt & constantly recite optimistic proverbs. Altuzarra & Stella McCartney are just two of the designers that covered their collections in saturated blossoms, making the mix of ocean blues, striking pinks & vivid greens a staple palette for the coming months.

Below, yours truly demonstrates:

{contents:} shirt: silence + noise + skirt: zara + clutch: big buddha + shoes: jessica simpson} 

Aloha,

lauren jerdonek.